As we all know, black hair tends to be a taboo topic, especially for people of other races. Whether they had question or not, most people would rather accept what they see and keep their questions to themselves. However, recently films like
Good Hair, have brought these conversations to the surface.
I'm under the impression that the purpose of the film was to give a better understanding to the world of black hair and to answer burning questions most people had been to scared to ask. BUT it seems to me that instead of answering these questions, the film raised more questions. We all been told "There's no such thing as a stupid question" well I'm here to inform you that, that maybe true but there are such things as ignorant questions, and when inquiring on a sensitive topic you must consider those five W's and that one H that you learned in grade school.
What you ask- Will this question actually benefit me or am I just making conversation or trying to look cool?
Who you ask- Do this person know me well enough to understand I mean no harm in my question?
where you ask- Did I pick the appropriate place to pose this question? Is there an audience or others who may take offence to this question? Could this question embarrass myself or others?
when you ask-Did I pick the appropriate time to ask this question?
why you ask- Am I really curious or am I trying to mock or make fun of others?
most importantly
HOW you ask- How can I word this to truly articulate my thoughts but not sound like a complete jackass. Okay let me elaborate- remember that this is a touchy and even awkward topic, so use your vocabulary wisely. and consider your tone and body language.
To be a little more clear, here's a list of questions you DON'T ask
1. "Is that your real hair?" or "Is this a weave?" or anything along those lines! this may sound like a simple question to you but speaking for most black women this is a
very personal question. Its like someone asking you what kind of panties you're wearing! At the end of the day its really none of your business!!!!
2. This is a not necessarily a question however, do not start a statement nor question with the phrase "Not to sound racist" because no matter what you say after that you WILL sound racist. Even if it isn't a racist comment or concern it will be taken as one. This phrase puts people on the defense before you even get your thoughts out. Try something like "my intentions are not to offend you"
3. Can I touch it? Not everyone has a problem with that I myself don't if it is coming from someone that I know. But not a lot of black women agree. Some black woman won't let anyone but a beautician and a doctor touch their hair. Personally I would say only ask a FRIEND or someone who has made it clear that they are open to conversations about hair. definitely never a stranger. However, before you ask anyone black person (male or female) know that you are liable to get cussed out if you ask the wrong person.
Here are just a few rules of thumb to consider when divulging in a conversation about black hair and possibly any other topics you find when you lift the social rug.
Though I find this metaphor somewhat accurate, I deem it necessary to play devil's advocate. So I pose the question what's the difference between a person who enjoys collecting sneakers and one who enjoys collecting stamps,or porcelain dolls, beer caps, glass eggs? What makes one a low class shameful obsession and the other a series of art? Don't get me wrong. In no way do I believe that every person who stands in line for hours ready to spend $200 just to sit their fresh pair of sneakers on display. However, I do know there are people who actually appreciate the beauty of a shoe standing in those lines. So whenever you hear the release of the next Nike shoe remember that not everyone fits the stigma associated with the sneakerheads.
